The Mating Game & How to Play It


The Mating Game


 Photo by DeLynn Hood    


If you don’t want advice, don’t read this.   

Are you longing for the perfect person to come along? Do you have a picture of  him or her in your mind ?     

A friend gave me a book that helped me along the way to my perfect mate. Yes. It really can happen and it sometimes does. Daphne Rose Kingma’s book Finding True Love has great advice and gives exercises to do to find the perfect person. I was newly divorced at the time a friend gave me this beautiful little book. One night I picked up her book and began reading. I had recently started keeping a journal and so I kept all the exercises she put in the book and I did them in order. I also used my recently learned Feng Shui expertise to get my home ready for the perfect person – not really thinking one would come along.     

I made a list of the qualities I wanted in a love relationship as suggested in the above book.   

I continued my spiritual practices of prayer, reading and meditation. I was perfectly content and not really looking for anyone. Occasionally I went with friends to “singles dances.” They were fun, but I never met anyone who was even slightly interesting to me.     

Then I met Bill and the rest is history.  Bill has all the qualities I had on my list. If the person you are interested in doesn’t have all the qualities, can you live with that?  Bill said, “You have all the qualities that are on my list.”   

My advice is probably not so different from many others, but I do look at it from another perspective.     

  1.  Don’t get physically involved until you’ve established a friendship. “You’ve got to be kidding!”   I’m not kidding. Once you’re physically involved it’s very hard to call an end to a relationship.
  2.  Don’t rush into things. Take it slow and easy.
  3. Be on the same spiritual path. This makes sense, but many think that it will all just work out if you’re in love. It usually doesn’t. Love can go as quickly as it came.
  4. Don’t think you can change the person you believe is “almost” perfect, if only…  People don’t change that much. There are always flaws. Everyone has their idiosyncrasies. Can you live with the little things? Those little things can turn into big things over time.

That’s why it’s so important to get to know the person you think you may want to spend your life with. Find out if you share the same interests and have similar views, like to do the same things and have the same spiritual philosophy. I repeated spiritual philosophy because it is such an important part of my life.   

Good chemistry can be deceiving.   

Oprah once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Oprah is a hero of mine. She is right on the mark on this one.    


P.S.  I’ve given my website a new look. Check it out on

Gail Manishor, Author of
From Here to Serenity, A Spiritual Guide to Transform Your Life

You can buy Gail’s Book at:


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